Does Desire Start in your Body or Mind?
To truly enjoy your sex drive, understand your user manual first. There are two models of desire: spontaneous desire (the body) and responsive desire (the mind). Knowing which mechanics you are working with can deeply enhance the experience of your ride and fellow passengers.
Spontaneous desire is when excitement and craving naturally happen in the body. Sexual bursts come frequently and easily. This behaviour is what is most portrayed in movies – the immediate readiness, rushed undressing and instant passion. Those with spontaneous desire think about sex often and use sex to relieve stress. It can also be activated in those with responsive desire during the honeymoon period. When the hormone-high inevitably fades, understanding that you and your partner may actually be responsive desire types can help you not question your connection, and rather deepen your knowledge of one another and curiously create new ways of intimacy.
Responsive desire is when stimulation begins in the mind. To understand responsive desire, we must first consider the nature of human sexuality. Desire is a chemical response that is crafted by our biological, psychological and social factors. This holy trio influences how we think and respond to sex. If you are experiencing low libido or a mismatched experience with your partner – it may be helpful to audit these three areas of your life.
It is vital to know that you are not broken, you just need to learn about yourself. Understanding where your Mo-Jo comes from is key to deeply fulfilling and enjoyable experiences.