Overcoming Sexual Shame
If sex is meant to feel good, why do we still feel bad? We are not born embarrassed of our bodies or disgusted by our desires, we learn to be. Sexual shame is taught through our familial, religious, cultural and/or social narratives. Whether subtle or overt, these messages can deeply impact how we see ourselves and our relation to others. While it may be our environments that breed concepts of fear, guilt, disgust or unworthiness, we have the power to not only overcome it, but start to enjoy, what can be an intensely fulfilling, profoundly fun and intrinsically human expression.
Sexual shame is a deep distress caused by the embarrassment of our bodies, fear of our sexual desires and disbelief that we are actually worthy of being loved as we are. If we are not comfortable in who we are and what we desire, the innocent act of sex can feel deeply troubled.
To overcome sexual shame, we must identify and verbalize our patterns, feelings and subconscious stories.
Questions to ask yourself to measure your feelings around sex
- How do you feel about your own body?
- How comfortable do you feel talking about sex?
- How sorry do you have to feel for a person who is having sex with you?
- Could someone know you sexually and still like you?
- How connected do you feel to your personal expression?
It takes courage to explore our vulnerabilities, but acknowledging our fears is the pathway to serious fun, liberating pleasure and a deeply satisfying birthright.