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Questions to Get to Know Yourself and Your Partner

How well do you know yourself? How about your partner? Appreciating how you and your significant other uniquely experience and respond to the world enhances the depth and connection of your relationship.

While we are (seemingly still) humans and not machines, we can still try our best to understand each other’s code. The following questions are designed to foster a deeper understanding of yourself and one another. By answering these prompts with openness, trust and vulnerability, you can create a (insert your partner’s name) user manual. 


  1. What is a song that always puts you in a good mood?
  2. Do you prefer going out or staying in?
  3. Are you a morning person or a night person?
  4. What kind of day makes you feel the best?
  5. Do you feel balanced in life? Is there any area that I can help you with?
  6. What are the signals that you are struggling?
  7. When you are in a low mood, how can I best show up for you?
  8. Is physical intimacy important to you?
  9. How often would you ideally like sex?
  10. Is quality sleep or physical intimacy more important to you? 
  11. How do you show love to me? 
  12. How do I show love to you? 
  13. How often would you like to see your friends?
  14. Do you think doing separate things is important?
  15. What is your favourite meal? 
  16. How can we resolve conflicts so that there is more understanding between us? 
  17. What prevents us from understanding each other’s perspectives?
  18. How do you like your bedroom ordered in the morning?
  19. What is a sign you want to leave a place? 
  20. What fears are still holding you back from being more open in this relationship?