Sex Is Important

So why do we wait for sex to ruin our relationships?

During my time in private practice I kept seeing the same story. One person wanting more sex,  while the other had anxiety about ‘performing’. Anxiety caused stress, and stress isn’t sexy. So no sex. The first person waits, and waits, and waits, until their frustration at the rejection reaches a  peak. Something has to change or else.  

And that’s when they came to me. Already holding huge emotions, already contemplating whether  the relationship can be ‘saved’. So why do we wait so long?   

 

 

While the media tells us we’re getting more progressive in talking about sex (which we are!), we  still have a long way to go. Talking about sex openly might happen through the comfort of our  keyboard, but being honest with our partners is a much harder thing to do. Its hard for people to  talk about sex even when its great, toe curling and filled with orgasms! So we can’t be that  surprised it's even harder when our sex life isn’t meeting our expectations. When it starts to eat  away at our self esteem, confidence and happiness. But I’ve been wondering recently if it goes  beyond sex as a hard dinner table conversation, and to our collective dismissal that sex is  important.  

So together, in reading this, let's change the narrative!

 

 

 

 

Sex is allowed to be important to you. It’s allowed to be needed, wanted and desired. You’re  allowed to ask for it, talk about it, and fight for the kind of sex life you want. But you’re also  allowed to need help in getting there. You’re allowed to need help communicating with your  partner/s. It’s okay if you need help allowing yourself to be sexual.

So let’s agree not to wait so long.

Because everyone has a right to pleasure.

 

 

Lauren French (She/Her), is a proud Karajarri women from Larrakia lands in the NT, currently calling  Wurundjeri country home. She’s a Sexologist, sexuality & relationship educator and social change maker.  Lauren holds membership with the Society of Australian Sexologists, Australian Society of Sex Educators  Researchers and Therapists (ASSERT) NSW, and the Australian and New Zealand Mental Health  Association. With a Bachelor of Psychology and a Master of Sexology, Lauren is passionate about  supporting open, honest and positive conversations around sex.  

@lauren.french.sexologist