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Why Do Couples Stop having Sex?

Written by somatic sexologist, Alice Child.
Nobody feels sexual all the time. It’s very normal to have periods with little or no desire for sex. It’s called being human!

The problem is many couples who come to see me WANT to want sex. They know how important it is for not only their relationship but also their own happiness.

But for one reason or another they can’t seem to get their old libido or sex drive back - even when they are still very attracted to each other. They pile on the pressure, have sex less and less, and it starts to feel like a chore. 

Here are some of the common reasons why couples stop being intimate. Knowledge is power. When we know what is going on for us, we can learn new ways to reduce our sexual blockers and prioritise our accelerators.

  • Stress

  • Lack of emotional connection

  • Losing erotic desire 

  • Shame/pressure/embarrassment

  • Time AKA deprioritising



Book in a session if you want more tailored support, or check out Pillow Play - a collection of fun sex and intimacy games for couples - designed to help couples learn new things and reconnect erotically!

Stop settling for okay sex.
Learn what you like. Ask for what you want/need. See a sexologist for support. Prioritise your pleasure. Sex should NEVER be painful or unpleasant.